why can't i eat that heart?

all kids are cute - but these kids are reeeeeeal cute aren't they! kindof glad to be out of cambodia tho... don't tell sister louise. there are especially good vibes flying around here in thai! the city is cool and looks like we won't have death by motorbike. i can't wait to get back on a bike. i just wanna ride around, get a little lost and check out changmai. the banana guest house can arrange all of our trekking, elephink rides, visit to village-of-very-long-necks and even our transport to luang prabang so it looks like we might have moved in for a bit - which is kindof a nice feeling.

i'm still sick by the way. feeling very... fragile. if i get jostled or don't focus on swallowing carefully i feel like i'll lose my lunch - or whichever of the 8 meals a day that we eat. j and m are annoyed that i'm still sick. me too. probably you too.

i just want to get well enough to start eating some really weird/gross things without suppressing the gag reflex. last night we went to a lau place - a pot of fire on your table with a can of propane and you add your own ingredients to a pot of broth and in this case a duck. i love duck. i can eat a whole duck (which i may never do again after seeing hungry kids in cambodia). when my family has duck they get one and i get one. hoewever, this duck was all the things that we don't eat... i don't think there was more than one bite of meat for each of us, if that. it was all the business from the insides. normally i would be very into trying all of the unidentified organs - really my biggest motivation for coming to SE asia was food - but i tried to do a chunk of what i think was heart and couldn't finish. soooo disappointed in myself. i ate part of the liver and that was good: smooth and buttery. didn't make me wretch only because it was familiar. the "heart" or whatever it was, was dense, and the texture of many squid in a stack - it sort of had levels of chewiness but somehow tasted very CLEAN. like squeaky clean. but meatier than squid. normally this would turn me on: a totally new thing in a place where they serve it all day long, packed with locals and recommended by a true cambodian. damn.

hope everyone is doing well!
i love yous!
s