naive philosophy

hum kum! let me start by saying i miss everyone! i wrote a very long e-mail to my brother last night and then shitty vietnam computer lost it - so frustrating that i couldn't post after that, my apologies for not being better.

saigon is not as wonderful as hanoi just as new york is not as friendly as chicago which is not as friendly as cassopolis, michigan. i suppose that is to be expected but was still surprised given the overwhelming warmth of vietnamese in hanoi. the last two days have been difficult war education. first the war atrocities museum yesterday and then cu chi today. our guide for cu chi fought for the south meaning he was allied with america and it was interesting to hear his account and his feelings toward the u.s. the obvious feeling as an american in vietnam is guilt but mr. hai reminded us that half of the country was working with the u.s. and fighting against the communist north. he made many jokes about how he was glad to be on the side of the south because he wouldn't want to crawl around in the tunnels of the opposition. also how he likes hamburgers and potatoes so he was glad to be with the americans. he is definately not a bitter man and made it clear that the past is in the past. after the u.s. left, the war continued until one day some viet cong told him it was over and he went home. shortly thereafter, south vietnamese officers and officials were rounded up and put in labor camps called re-education camps. sentencing was dependent on rank and level of involvement in order to keep the "dangerous capitalist ideas" contained. mr. hai was detained for 3 years for his work as a translator during the war and then denied citizenship in any cities for quite a while, part of which he spent in the countryside, very poor, and part of which he lived illegally in saigon. he was not embittered toward americans but pointed out the foolishness of our government. when asked wether he thought america should have been involved he responded with a decisive "no" and then immediately compared the american war (the vietnam war) to our current war in iraq.

being in saigon makes my feelings about war, and especially iraq, even more decisive. this is such a wonderful country with fascinating culture and charming people. but everywhere i look the phrase "third world" comes to mind. where would this country be, with so much to offer and such natural beauty in its landscape and people, if war hadn't devastated it so completly? i just passed a woman on the street coming here who has been disfigured by agent orange. she may have been affected first hand or it may have genetically altered her through her parents exposure. her legs were so badly deformed that she was dragging herself along on her hands. why didn't i learn about this more in school. isn't knowledge the way to prevent this in the future? j, m and i learned so much about the holocaust in school but there is so much that i wish i had known about vietnam. it is so upsetting that we don't know more about our own history.

as i think all of these thoughts i am also constantly reminded how cliche i must be and how many people have already thought these thoughts, so thank you for bearing with me.

much love,
s